Noticing my Freedom
My first real experience of somatic awareness happened at a friend’s wedding in 2022.
I was talking with the man next to me when I felt my shoulders tighten. Suddenly it hit me: I wasn’t asking him questions because I was curious. I was asking them to ensure he would feel interesting.
I was people-pleasing.
When I noticed the sensation, I let my shoulders relax and asked myself: Am I actually interested in what he has to say?
My answer was no.
So I turned my attention elsewhere and I felt a surprising wave of freedom.
Over time, I started noticing that my body seemed to have invisible “buttons” quietly directing my behavior.
A constriction in my chest → stay quiet and strong
Tight shoulders → ignore my discomfort
A twist in my stomach → hide your anger
Once I started paying attention, these sensations changed from commands to signals:
A tightening in my shoulders when I’m about to overcommit.
A knot in my stomach when I’m swallowing anger.
A constriction in my chest when I’m about to stay quiet instead of speaking honestly.
When I notice these signals, I can make choices aligned with what I actually want, not what I think I’m supposed to do.
I’ve been integrating this somatic awareness into my coaching and often guide clients through a simple process:
Notice the sensation in the body.
Listen for the story the sensation is carrying.
Look for the deeper truth underneath the story.
Choose an aligned action.
Step three is often the hardest.
Many people stop at the story in step two. But here’s a helpful test:
If the insight is about someone else, keep going.
If it’s about yourself, you’re probably getting closer to the truth.
Most of our nervous systems are running too fast to notice these signals, especially in modern American life.
My friend Vlad described it well: “Imagine driving a Ferrari stuck in 5th gear at 90 miles per hour.”
That’s what it feels like for a lot of us. But when we slow down and notice what’s happening inside us, something remarkable happens:
We discover we actually have more choices, which can turn into freedom.
I’ve been practicing noticing my freedom ever since.
If you or a couple in your network feels stuck on the hamster wheel of life and wants help slowing down enough to see more options, I’d love to help.
You can share my free intro call link here.